Whitney Cummings New standup special “Can I Touch It?” now streaming on Netflix. Watch @whitneysrobot roast me while I’m clearing out my closet ⬇️ | youtu.be/g8JZTKuviWU|
Whitney Cummings Posts
2,531 Likes | 17 days ago | 126
Thinking about buying this robot horse for my @whitneysrobot or is it not creepy enough?
16,582 Likes | 18 days ago | 212
Sleepy pig but make it fashion. I ❤️ you @thegentlebarn.
24,417 Likes | 18 days ago | 1,192
Condoms but make it fashion
4,509 Likes | 19 days ago | 295
Psychopath @bentonrayy terrorizes wonderful person (me) with a dead squirrel and I will have night terrors forever.
4,021 Likes | 19 days ago | 334
I’ve been hoodwinked! Has anyone else had this happen?!
2,268 Likes | 20 days ago | 39
Getting a robot of yourself is a full time job. The process took about 6 months. You have not seen her on my socials too much lately because she’s currently getting new eyeballs and fingers because I dropped her one too many times but she’s intact in my special now on Netflix.
12,561 Likes | 20 days ago | 312
I tried Gaga’s face stickers and I’d say I nailed it. @hauslabs you get me
23,719 Likes | 21 days ago | 809
The fact that I don’t charge for relationship advice is pretty wild. When else should you CALL IT in a relationship?
5,700 Likes | 21 days ago | 116
My nemeses @whitneysrobot and @bentonrayy made my closet clean out wildly demoralizing. Full video on my YouTube channel. Are these as ugly as these haters think they are
16,347 Likes | 22 days ago | 133
At the end of the special taping we had to pick up some promos and re-shoot something for continuity but my audience was a sass fest.
7,330 Likes | 23 days ago | 85
Was everyone at my special taping a Virgo? Because y’all were bossy and micro-managey as hell when we had to do some pick ups at the end. 🤦🏻♀️ More outtakes on my YouTube channel
19,564 Likes | 24 days ago | 1,679
If I see you wearing these, we will have words. Who is the target audience for these?!
29,423 Likes | 35 days ago | 930
Here’s an update on Violet the @wrinkledragon. She’s doing just fine even though I’m suspicious she got butt implants and is now an actual potato.
6,628 Likes | 35 days ago | 77
I was not able to do the Alec Baldwin Roast but I did bring him up in my Netflix special out of absolutely nowhere. More info about my boob fiasco on my YouTube channel.
9,118 Likes | 36 days ago | 449
15,268 Likes | 37 days ago | 2,094
What should the name of my new cooking show be called?
6,657 Likes | 37 days ago | 112
I knew @steveo could handle @whitneysrobot in “conversation mode” where I don’t program what she says. I’m still having nightmares, but he handled it great. Link to full video in my bio. 🤖
12,365 Likes | 38 days ago | 430
Actual footage of me at a party trying to talk to people about my dogs. Tag your friends who would listen to me 🤦🏻♀️
28,823 Likes | 38 days ago | 498
I’m starting to get this slide show thing! Three mediocre photos equals one good one 👍
4,921 Likes | 39 days ago | 52
The always hilarious @robintran04.
9,342 Likes | 39 days ago | 1,027
On Saturdays we Vogue Battle as if we are in the tractor scene from Footloose. My dance enemy @bentonrayy wants to give you a pair of the shoes I’m wearing. They’re by my favorite vegan shoe line @cultofcoquette. Two people will get them for free but you gotta: 1. Make sure you are following myself, @cultofcoquette and @bentonrayy 2. Tag a friend in the comments. 3. Benton will then pick 2 winners and connect you with @cultofcoquette who will get two of y’all my favorite heels. (swipe right to see up close) Winners will be chosen on September 30! We are GOOD PEOPLE it turns out! Good luck! ❤️
19,254 Likes | 40 days ago | 208
Urgent please help
14,462 Likes | 40 days ago | 934
Spot on? @bentonrayy made this so direct your anger at him, Virgos and Cancers.
19,706 Likes | 41 days ago | 640
A clip from my HBO special I’m Your Girlfriend, where she ruminates about how men discovered anal sex. Longer clips on my YouTube channel #tbt
470 Likes | 63 days ago | 15
I put Bearclaw on a dating app and it went incredibly weird. Link to full video in bio.
18,199 Likes | 64 days ago | 598
If someone saw my recent Ring camera footage I’d be on a list
10,816 Likes | 65 days ago | 183
And this is what the end of my next special will look like. Thank you @thepouf for making this so I get used to @whitneysrobot getting revenge.
6,275 Likes | 66 days ago | 81
Getting a robot made of yourself is not a game, people.
35,375 Likes | 67 days ago | 1,752
Am I allowed to just get married in this? What is with the “wedding dresses must be white” racket? Who makes these rules? Has anyone experienced a not white wedding dress and how did it go? Why didn’t we all take a fashion tip from the icon @sarahjessicaparker?
35,126 Likes | 68 days ago | 636
It really could go either way.
49,143 Likes | 68 days ago | 1,049
This is not how I saw my life going.
17,423 Likes | 69 days ago | 539
I do my best Catherine O’Hara impression #fruitwine @am2dm
20,508 Likes | 69 days ago | 307
Fingers crossed the great @melissavcomedy and I are long lost twins so I finally get to call her my sister
10,907 Likes | 70 days ago | 532
This happened moments before Bearclaws @jimmykimmellive performance, so now you know why she looked so incredibly crazy. 🤦🏻♀️ Do not watch this if you’re creeped out by things that look kinda human kinda dead
18,042 Likes | 71 days ago | 278
I was an intern at @voguemagazine and now they’re obsessed with me.
17,518 Likes | 71 days ago | 388
Welcome to Hollywood
30,599 Likes | 72 days ago | 286
Tonight I am on @jimmykimmellive dressed like the maid from the Jetsons. We talk about robots, weddings, and why I’ll never be in Star Wars.
5,774 Likes | 72 days ago | 74
Today is #worldelephantday. If you want to do something to help, follow or donate to @pawsark2000 who truly rescue and do not exploit. And do not ride elephants or support the circus. Do not believe assholes who say it’s “conservation.” It’s not. It’s always abuse. We’ve all made mistakes but it’s never too late to do the right thing. I also love @sheldricktrust 🐘 ❤️
8,950 Likes | 73 days ago | 166
The genius @melissavcomedy is more me than me with her impression of me and now I don’t even know who I am.
13,290 Likes | 74 days ago | 212
This was the first day I met @whitneysrobot. I know I seem comfortable with her now, but at first I was alarmed to say the least. I had no idea she was going to be able to have actual conversations without being programmed, so this broke my brain. We are both now screaming on Netflix.
55,108 Likes | 75 days ago | 16,798
Wedding dress shopping is surprisingly hard and I rolled my ankle numerous times...but which one do you like? And thank you @amsale for letting me be such a dumb ass in your beautiful salon.
9,888 Likes | 75 days ago | 214
Okay this started as a joke but now this bitch is starting to take my gigs. She’s on @todayshow airing right now but the good news is that her performance is robotic
18,249 Likes | 76 days ago | 372
How many horses can you spot on this dress that I’m never taking off?
13,735 Likes | 76 days ago | 126
Thank you @ryanseacrest for keeping the conversation moving so I couldn’t digress and force @vanessahudgens to sing RENT with me on @livekellyandryan this morning. Thank you @abbyhornacek for giving me this normal white shirt to borrow and 💇🏻♀️ @jillianhalouska 💄 @andrea_tiller
3,783 Likes | 77 days ago | 148
Bearclaw is having one of those days.
27,812 Likes | 78 days ago | 651
I found the only shirt I’ll ever wear again. Thank you @lelarose for being a genius and realizing that dogs should be on everything. Tag your dog people ☺️
26,019 Likes | 79 days ago | 502
I always forget I have this damn tattoo. Thank you for asking so many smart questions about my special @itsalexberg @buzzfeed @am2dm 🤖 📷 @jjreddington
12,367 Likes | 79 days ago | 212
Happy #worklikeadog day and by that I mean I hope you sleep for most of it. @netflixisajoke @netflix #canitouchit
6,687 Likes | 80 days ago | 146
If this doesn’t get me a deal to do a reboot of the movie Face/Off then Hollywood hates money 🤖
6,853 Likes | 81 days ago | 348
Got her wig snatched, then remembered she’s still cute. @whitneysrobot 🤖
37,124 Likes | 82 days ago | 1,375
There is a slight chance I did all this just so I could drive in the carpool lane. #canitouchit
9,206 Likes | 83 days ago | 254
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! @netflixisajoke @whitneysrobot
57,113 Likes | 84 days ago | 1,803
I think I’m getting the hang of this Instagram thing: just pretend you’re busy and reveal too much.
28,765 Likes | 84 days ago | 528
Violet was sick of my robot stealing her thunder.
30,931 Likes | 85 days ago | 563
As always, thank you @joerogan.
10,761 Likes | 85 days ago | 290
Can someone please get Bearclaw on Love Island and out of my house? I got her on every dating app, and that’s literally all I can do for her. You can see the beginning of this Robot ROM-COM on my new YouTube channel! Link in my stories! @netflixisajoke @whitneysrobot
8,221 Likes | 85 days ago | 272
Today this jerk takes over @netflixisajoke so head over there for some wild shit. @netflix @whitneysrobot 🤖
20,715 Likes | 85 days ago | 661
Don’t be jealous you didn’t think of it! My new special CAN I TOUCH IT? is now streaming on @netflix ! #canitouchit @netflixisajoke @whitneysrobot for everyone asking @robzangardi is the brain behind my denim tuxedo.
13,306 Likes | 86 days ago | 469
Tonight at midnight my new stand up special streams on @netflixisajoke. PC police, start your engines. #canitouchit
5,350 Likes | 86 days ago | 112
Tonight you’ll get to find out what in the lords name all this rigmarole is all about! CAN I TOUCH IT? Streams at midnight on @netflixisajoke 🤖
18,522 Likes | 87 days ago | 798
This Tuesday at midnight on @netflixisajoke I’ll explain what the hell is going on here. #canitouchit
6,110 Likes | 87 days ago | 177
TWO more days till CAN I TOUCH IT? Streams on @netflixisajoke. Get ready to feel some weird things.
15,419 Likes | 88 days ago | 317
I think a dog just beat me at basketball.
10,411 Likes | 88 days ago | 494
3 more days until my new special comes out on @netflixisajoke July 30. Get ready to laugh and see some very weird shit. #canitouchit
31,504 Likes | 89 days ago | 1,236
Total blast to speak at the @girlboss rally. Here are some hot tips I wish someone had told me when I was a young buck trying to make something of myself. Any good advice I’m missing? #girlboss #girlbossrally
10,891 Likes | 90 days ago | 105
It’s not often you get to pose on a red carpet next to a painting of your own dog. Thank you @refinery29 and @vca for collaborating to direct short films about animal adoption. #petfriendly
3,741 Likes | 90 days ago | 91
This is me without make up on letting you know there’s only 6 more days until my new stand up special is on @netflixisajoke. #canitouchit
71,359 Likes | 91 days ago | 2,670
Hairy girl summer in full effect. #canitouchit
9,132 Likes | 92 days ago | 299
But who is going to save me? 🐝
11,887 Likes | 92 days ago | 353
ONE WEEK till my new special CAN I TOUCH IT? is out on @Netflix. Share this weird ass poster and use hashtag #canitouchit, and I'll choose one of you lovely humans and record your outgoing voice mail message…
25,624 Likes | 94 days ago | 911
Ooh, do I get married at @wayfarers_chapel?! Help! I need ideas. Tag venues that can accommodate a lot of comedians and about 50 dogs ☺️
18,222 Likes | 94 days ago | 239
Just found this picture so I’ll guess I’ll spend the rest of the day staring into space. We miss you Brody. #enjoyit