Whitney Cummings

IG Whitney Cummings

@whitneycummings

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Whitney Cummings Watch The Female Brain on demand, YouTube, Hulu, Amazon. | www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/4/12/18306590/tiger-selfie-thailand-tiger-kingdom |

Whitney Cummings Posts

15,452 Likes | about 6 hours ago | 656

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Has porn made us all go completely insane? Tag your single girlfriends who need a heads up on what’s going on out there.

6,145 Likes | about 20 hours ago | 226

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What would this TV show be called? ❤️ @lparrilla @fortunefeimster

21,021 Likes | 2 days ago | 379

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What it’s like to hang out with me in a nutshell

22,540 Likes | 2 days ago | 335

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Finally figured out Violets breed: unmade bed. Can you even spot her?

11,526 Likes | 3 days ago | 200

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What would you look for in a sperm donor? More ranting in this HBO special available on Hulu and HBOGo

23,436 Likes | 3 days ago | 417

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violet got a boo boo but the upside is that her cone looks like a dress, which is giving me a lot of invention ideas #sharktank I mean you’d buy a dog dress right?

18,575 Likes | 4 days ago | 664

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Hollywood IS as glamorous as it seems y’all - can you count how many pieces of spandex it takes to allow me to function

5,724 Likes | 4 days ago | 138

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Am I the only woman who fantasizes another woman carrying my kid? Or have I taken my Handmaids Tale fandom too far? #hbo #comedy

8,995 Likes | 5 days ago | 236

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Thank you for having us @alecbaldwininsta. Can y’all name everyone in this pic? #matchgame

13,515 Likes | 5 days ago | 483

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Take a wild guess at what the question was? #matchgame

9,471 Likes | 6 days ago | 7,403

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
The Fast and the Furious

15,673 Likes | 6 days ago | 544

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Anyone else feel like guys have gotten so suspicious and assume all women are gold diggers trying to trap them? Y’all watch Gone Girl one too many times?

4,679 Likes | 7 days ago | 139

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Holding or touching a lion, tiger or bear cubs is abuse. I didn’t know either until a couple of years ago, but it’s never too late to course correct and do the right thing. People keep asking what they can do to help stop this -- no need to send me more info on it — better to repost this or kindly educate your friends who don’t know yet. In my heart of hearts I believe people would never do it if they knew how horrific it is for the mother and cubs (And if I’m wrong about that I’m going to slowly walk into the ocean.) Thank you for the education @lionstigers_andbears and for saving the animals who survive it. Also highly recommend the latest @natashaldaly piece on wildlife tourism for @natgeo, which is a great way to learn about the nightmare that goes into a selfie with an exotic animal. Let’s show the next generation not to abuse entities with less power than them shall we?

7,293 Likes | 7 days ago | 48

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Dream show with dream cast with dream director @theoriginalbigdaddy. Thank you @lisakudrow and @josietotah for being such #GoodPeople

16,012 Likes | 8 days ago | 269

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Happy Fathers Day to my real dad @papa_het_ ❤️ what are your Fathers Day plans everyone?

3,447 Likes | 8 days ago | 76

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
REAL FALL — and this is why I suck at being an influencer

8,230 Likes | 9 days ago | 178

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What is the item from back in the day you refuse to let go of? Mine is probably my personality #HBO #comedy

7,374 Likes | 10 days ago | 153

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I can’t believe there’s a pill I don’t want to take - and as always let me know if there’s any contraceptive I have not given notes on #HBO #comedy

17,171 Likes | 11 days ago | 571

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Self-promotion has gotten so constant and embarrassing that it’s literally come to this...but today is the day I finally get to announce that my new stand up special is called CAN I TOUCH IT? and it streams on @netflixisajoke JULY 30. What topics do you think I CAN touch?

4,973 Likes | 12 days ago | 80

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Hollywood glamour. What do you think this show I’m doing with @theoriginalbigdaddy is about?

18,683 Likes | 12 days ago | 1,330

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Should I get married in the woods? Is this who i am? Please Instagram followers, plan my wedding! Tag places you think I’d like! I need all the help I can get because I love the idea of doing it at a pig farm — so please guide me to sanity so I don’t lose too many friends. Do i go to #weddinginspo or #moneydrain ?

6,756 Likes | 13 days ago | 283

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Birth control methods are my eternal nemesis. What’s your least favorite in case I have more I’m missing that need to be attacked? #HBO #comedy

13,255 Likes | 13 days ago | 355

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Since Violet is basically feral she uses her mouth a lot (she was taken from her mother too young - a lot of crappy breeders do this) it’s freakin cute but the training to teach her boundaries and manners has begun....Training a dog is a great way to find out what YOU need to work on yourself so let the random bouts of rage and impatience and perfectionism begin

7,816 Likes | 13 days ago | 582

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I always had this theory! Did anyone else think this??? @livekindlyco

44,904 Likes | 14 days ago | 1,050

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violet went from being on the euthanasia list at a shelter to driving a Tesla - maybe anything is possible #adoptdontshop

14,445 Likes | 15 days ago | 276

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
#nationalbestfriendday (wait is this cute or sad?)

7,126 Likes | 15 days ago | 57

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I know my smile is corny but I have my dream cast @ianmharding @tasha4realsmith ❤️ why aren’t you in this pic @theoriginalbigdaddy?

16,158 Likes | 16 days ago | 187

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
When I tried to convince @lisakudrow to do more insta stories she won comedy

7,433 Likes | 16 days ago | 190

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Am I the only other person who wants someone else to have their child for them?

6,789 Likes | 16 days ago | 86

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Running toward drama like

14,815 Likes | 17 days ago | 2,428

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
The senate? NASCAR? The line outside Chick-Fil-A?

6,693 Likes | 17 days ago | 222

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Tag your gal friend who needs that nudge to freeze her damn eggs

1,420 Likes | 18 days ago | 20

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I can NOT wait to work with you @tasha4realsmith! ❤️

3,816 Likes | 18 days ago | 142

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Thank you @the_fakening for understanding that I’ve always been this woman

12,121 Likes | 19 days ago | 397

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Nude scene tutorial. @theoriginalbigdaddy I’m READY

7,101 Likes | 19 days ago | 66

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I’m deceased.

3,107 Likes | 20 days ago | 58

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Heaven is a place on earth. 👏 @josietotah

35,177 Likes | 20 days ago | 2,112

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I’m feeling like I’m not in control of most things in my life right now and you know what that means: I want to go blonde so I feel like something went as planned. Good idea? Or do I look like I have jaundice?

29,559 Likes | 20 days ago | 599

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Shit. Am I just this person now? I swear I’ll try and have a kid or something soon

14,718 Likes | 21 days ago | 249

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
West coast: this mini polar bear Gustavo is available for adoption! Humans trashed the first couple years of his life but now he’s ready to be someone’s higher power. Reach out to @hitlivingfoundation for more info and an application ❤️ please someone take him because I’m above the legal limit

9,177 Likes | 21 days ago | 198

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Joe the pig update. He’s pig AF at @centraltexaspigrescue. How many pounds do you think he weighs now? (When I found him he was 5!)

1,917 Likes | 22 days ago | 63

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This perfectly sums up what happens when I see someone holding a lion, tiger or bear cub on Instagram 😡 what makes you snap into “fight or flight?”

7,467 Likes | 22 days ago | 236

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Am I missing any lines from a dudes inner monologue?

19,849 Likes | 23 days ago | 946

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Whoever invented panty hose, I kindly invite you to fight me

19,297 Likes | 24 days ago | 521

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I get it honestly

9,239 Likes | 24 days ago | 853

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I don’t even know what this is but feels like the right way to start the day (also this is me at @centraltexaspigrescue)

6,013 Likes | 24 days ago | 79

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
My precious @gabby3shabby (not sure why I decided to wear blue eyeliner which liquidated into raccoon eyes)

22,104 Likes | 25 days ago | 777

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violet the wrinkle dragon. @istandwithmypack #adoptdontshop

21,341 Likes | 25 days ago | 189

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
JANE! I’m in love with @lisakudrow

7,756 Likes | 25 days ago | 161

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Date me

7,389 Likes | 26 days ago | 313

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Regram @realnickswardson @thedanacarvey. Name this sitcom even though I’m very afraid to hear your answers.

30,746 Likes | 27 days ago | 928

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Let’s see how this appointment ends. Freeze more eggs? Freeze embryos? Cry forever?

21,408 Likes | 29 days ago | 951

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Which emoji best describes your inner monologue today?

5,961 Likes | 29 days ago | 128

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This dude taught me about patience, pride, and tranquility so it’s ironic I’m posting here since insta tries my patience, corrodes my pride, and steals my tranquilly but here goes

19,040 Likes | 30 days ago | 21,205

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
The Good Place.

20,980 Likes | 30 days ago | 550

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Being a woman is cool 😎

13,769 Likes | 31 days ago | 313

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
#fbf that time I got my ear bit off like a moron

18,329 Likes | 31 days ago | 487

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
My fiancée just texted me this. Are we still together?

13,200 Likes | 32 days ago | 422

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What’s the porn category that gets you like 🤔 #comedy

10,325 Likes | 32 days ago | 259

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
🤯🤯🤯

7,372 Likes | 33 days ago | 157

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Dead.

10,585 Likes | 34 days ago | 529

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Baba-book-y! Y’all don’t need me to tell you this but if you don’t get this @sternshow book I guess you just hate being fascinated and entertained. Has anyone read it yet? I can not wait.

26,388 Likes | 34 days ago | 483

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Dreams can come true ⭐️

11,579 Likes | 35 days ago | 221

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
For those of you asking about Joe - he’s now fifty lbs and happy as a pig in shit at @centraltexaspigrescue - swipe for his “before” pic and cut it out with the “micro pig” myth, which is actually just greedy breeders starving pigs so they’ll stay small because it’s trendy. Don’t make me snap and come for you - I’m long overdue for a manic episode 🤗

20,759 Likes | 35 days ago | 227

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I’ve known @thejennwithin since the first year I moved to LA. She knows all my secrets and where all the bodies are buried but that’s NOT the only reason I love her. Thank you for being a friend, golden girl.

21,986 Likes | 37 days ago | 821

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violet is almost as socially awkward as her foster mom.

12,767 Likes | 37 days ago | 514

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Is there any pet name more annoying than “baby?”

13,812 Likes | 38 days ago | 158

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
We love you @busyphilipps, a true girls girl who knows women don’t have to compete with each other to succeed. When one of us rises, we all rise, and everybody wins. ❤️ @lindacardellini @thejennwithin and Michelle.

11,457 Likes | 38 days ago | 85

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
HEY GUYS - tonight is the finale (at least on E!) of @busyphilipps show and we all showed up to celebrate her, but mostly made her cry. @lindacardellini @thejennwithin @christabmiller see you at the premiere episode of her next show very soon. ❤️

3,758 Likes | 38 days ago | 52

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Thank you @charlotteslawrence for teaching me how to be an influencer

7,707 Likes | 39 days ago | 187

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This woman is my friend but frankly I’m also a fan which makes our dynamic weird, but I urge you to watch the finale of @betterthingsfx with the multi-brilliant @pamelaadlon. Her show is honest and funny and inspiring and healing and all the things we need right now. ❤️

35,988 Likes | 39 days ago | 1,969

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
@aclu_nationwide

31,388 Likes | 40 days ago | 820

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Me in a nutshell

11,729 Likes | 40 days ago | 456

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
It 15 years of dating but now when I ask my dude “what are you thinking about?” and he says “nothing” I finally believe him.

18,213 Likes | 41 days ago | 355

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violet is so psyched to be rescued she’s casually enjoying a cigar

3,986 Likes | 42 days ago | 65

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Always a blast performing in Texas. Salt of the earth people who understand what I’m talking about when I complain about Okra. Always exciting to get to wear my plaid shirts and cowboy boots in peace. Thank you @kaabootexas fest for having me 🌵

6,745 Likes | 43 days ago | 86

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Of course I ran into @joshdallas on the way to actual Dallas. Congrats on a season 2 pick up @nbcmanifest 💜 and happy Mother’s Day to his wife, my bestie, Ginny Goodwin! Thank you for being the best mom to me.

22,671 Likes | 43 days ago | 429

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I am moving to a place with LAND so if you thought I had too many animals now, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Buckle UP.

3,138 Likes | 44 days ago | 110

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What show was I watching in the bathtub last night that got me this excited? Hint: there’s a villain in it

16,559 Likes | 44 days ago | 644

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
in a land of Carries and Samantha’s, sometimes you gotta go full on Natasha. I’ll favorite anyone’s comment who actually gets this. #fbf #thegentlewoman 📷: @milanzrnic

13,664 Likes | 45 days ago | 329

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
There’s never not a guy in shorts at my shows. I’ve had to stop all 4 of my special tapings to talk through my feelings about it.

29,948 Likes | 46 days ago | 1,221

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Epic zoomie after finding out she put on 14 lbs!

9,810 Likes | 47 days ago | 355

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Haters will say it’s photoshop

29,472 Likes | 48 days ago | 696

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I feel like I’m the only person who took the “camp” theme seriously at the #metgala ( 📷 @theabbot)

10,720 Likes | 48 days ago | 125

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
How I feel after blocking someone on Instagram. Bravo @theebillyporter #metgala

10,773 Likes | 48 days ago | 126

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
On our way to the Mutt Gala #metgala

12,941 Likes | 50 days ago | 428

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
The “she’s my friend” excuse must be working on some of y’all be because it’s out in the streets alive and well - has anyone else been through this?

4,561 Likes | 51 days ago | 49

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
One step closer to fulfilling my personal dream of having @kyledunnigan1 become a centaur

36,522 Likes | 52 days ago | 1,091

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This tiny velvet wrinkle dragon is still available for adoption. You’re going to have to pry her from my bloody hands, but if you’re a good home, we will get through this without any major injuries. And I’ll be visiting her daily. Applications taken via the @istandwithmypack site. Tag your friends who are good doggo parents ❤️

39,701 Likes | 52 days ago | 1,901

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Are guys into strong women yes or no (Also this HBO special is now on HULU 😊)

9,155 Likes | 54 days ago | 218

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This is what happens when I’m left to my own devices and do my own hair and make up and dress myself and frankly I’m feeling pretty good about it. Always psyched to support @thejaneclub, a workspace for moms, spearheaded by the visionary @junediane.

16,883 Likes | 55 days ago | 379

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
If you love me you won’t...what?

1,300 Likes | 55 days ago | 30

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Vegas, be there soon at the @orleanscasino.

12,068 Likes | 56 days ago | 394

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
My spin off of #GOT with me and my tiny wrinkly dragon sidekick

2,349 Likes | 57 days ago | 80

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Now that weed is legal in California my posts are going to start going in this direction #beauty

15,095 Likes | 57 days ago | 185

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
When I got him he looked like a garbage bag and he now has a punk rock as hell mohawk. Thank you for letting Joe frolic in your Narnia for pigs @centraltexaspigrescue #rescue

13,517 Likes | 58 days ago | 221

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Will photos like this get me a lifestyle brand? Should I include details on what sunscreen I use?

21,005 Likes | 59 days ago | 719

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Have you ever done something completely sane and been called crazy anyway? 🤦🏻‍♀️ #standupcomedy

29,834 Likes | 60 days ago | 774

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I love hanging out with my foster Violet because she makes me look young af 👶 tag someone who you think would be a good human for this weird seal #adoptdontshop #sharpei #rescuedog

13,056 Likes | 60 days ago | 366

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violets first time on a couch didn’t go as planned 💔 @istandwithmypack hat by @commentsbycelebs #sharpei #rescuedog

26,722 Likes | 61 days ago | 1,270

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violets first car ride went well but I think she will deduct some stars for the Uber driver touching her face @istandwithmypack

22,200 Likes | 62 days ago | 621

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Me Before/after meditating. Her story is on @istandwithmypack #sharpei #rescuedog

32,966 Likes | 62 days ago | 1,554

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Well that was fast. 24 hours ago my foster Violet was terrified of me and now she’s demanding I stop watching Killing Eve @istandwithmypack

15,192 Likes | 62 days ago | 222

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Forgot to post this on 4:20 because it was 4:20 and maybe I was celebrating too hard as you can tell by my face

25,506 Likes | 63 days ago | 1,420