Whitney Cummings

IG Whitney Cummings

@whitneycummings

Share Tweet
245
Ranking
4,077
Posts
877,462
Followers
2,143
Followings
Whitney Cummings New standup special “Can I Touch It?” now streaming on Netflix. Watch me try and get @whitneysrobot on all the dating apps and out of my house ⬇️ | bit.ly/bcdating |

Whitney Cummings Posts

27,797 Likes | about 12 hours ago | 1,476

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Am I allowed to just get married in this? What is with the “wedding dresses must be white” racket? Who makes these rules? Has anyone experienced a not white wedding dress and how did it go? Why didn’t we all take a fashion tip from the icon @sarahjessicaparker?

33,562 Likes | 1 day ago | 620

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
It really could go either way.

47,976 Likes | 1 day ago | 1,026

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This is not how I saw my life going.

17,103 Likes | 2 days ago | 520

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I do my best Catherine O’Hara impression #fruitwine @am2dm

20,288 Likes | 2 days ago | 302

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Fingers crossed the great @melissavcomedy and I are long lost twins so I finally get to call her my sister

10,665 Likes | 3 days ago | 528

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This happened moments before Bearclaws @jimmykimmellive performance, so now you know why she looked so incredibly crazy. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Do not watch this if you’re creeped out by things that look kinda human kinda dead

17,899 Likes | 4 days ago | 276

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I was an intern at @voguemagazine and now they’re obsessed with me.

17,418 Likes | 4 days ago | 388

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Welcome to Hollywood

30,543 Likes | 5 days ago | 286

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Tonight I am on @jimmykimmellive dressed like the maid from the Jetsons. We talk about robots, weddings, and why I’ll never be in Star Wars.

5,774 Likes | 5 days ago | 74

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Today is #worldelephantday. If you want to do something to help, follow or donate to @pawsark2000 who truly rescue and do not exploit. And do not ride elephants or support the circus. Do not believe assholes who say it’s “conservation.” It’s not. It’s always abuse. We’ve all made mistakes but it’s never too late to do the right thing. I also love @sheldricktrust 🐘 ❤️

8,917 Likes | 6 days ago | 166

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
The genius @melissavcomedy is more me than me with her impression of me and now I don’t even know who I am.

13,208 Likes | 7 days ago | 212

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This was the first day I met @whitneysrobot. I know I seem comfortable with her now, but at first I was alarmed to say the least. I had no idea she was going to be able to have actual conversations without being programmed, so this broke my brain. We are both now screaming on Netflix.

55,059 Likes | 8 days ago | 16,788

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Wedding dress shopping is surprisingly hard and I rolled my ankle numerous times...but which one do you like? And thank you @amsale for letting me be such a dumb ass in your beautiful salon.

9,888 Likes | 8 days ago | 214

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Okay this started as a joke but now this bitch is starting to take my gigs. She’s on @todayshow airing right now but the good news is that her performance is robotic

18,249 Likes | 9 days ago | 372

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
How many horses can you spot on this dress that I’m never taking off?

13,735 Likes | 9 days ago | 126

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Thank you @ryanseacrest for keeping the conversation moving so I couldn’t digress and force @vanessahudgens to sing RENT with me on @livekellyandryan this morning. Thank you @abbyhornacek for giving me this normal white shirt to borrow and 💇🏻‍♀️ @jillianhalouska 💄 @andrea_tiller

3,783 Likes | 10 days ago | 148

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Bearclaw is having one of those days.

27,812 Likes | 11 days ago | 651

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I found the only shirt I’ll ever wear again. Thank you @lelarose for being a genius and realizing that dogs should be on everything. Tag your dog people ☺️

26,019 Likes | 12 days ago | 502

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I always forget I have this damn tattoo. Thank you for asking so many smart questions about my special @itsalexberg @buzzfeed @am2dm 🤖 📷 @jjreddington

12,367 Likes | 12 days ago | 212

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Happy #worklikeadog day and by that I mean I hope you sleep for most of it. @netflixisajoke @netflix #canitouchit

6,687 Likes | 13 days ago | 146

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
If this doesn’t get me a deal to do a reboot of the movie Face/Off then Hollywood hates money 🤖

6,853 Likes | 14 days ago | 348

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Got her wig snatched, then remembered she’s still cute. @whitneysrobot 🤖

37,124 Likes | 15 days ago | 1,375

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
There is a slight chance I did all this just so I could drive in the carpool lane. #canitouchit

9,206 Likes | 16 days ago | 254

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! @netflixisajoke @whitneysrobot

57,113 Likes | 17 days ago | 1,803

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I think I’m getting the hang of this Instagram thing: just pretend you’re busy and reveal too much.

28,765 Likes | 17 days ago | 528

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violet was sick of my robot stealing her thunder.

30,931 Likes | 18 days ago | 563

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
As always, thank you @joerogan.

10,761 Likes | 18 days ago | 290

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Can someone please get Bearclaw on Love Island and out of my house? I got her on every dating app, and that’s literally all I can do for her. You can see the beginning of this Robot ROM-COM on my new YouTube channel! Link in my stories! @netflixisajoke @whitneysrobot

8,221 Likes | 18 days ago | 272

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Today this jerk takes over @netflixisajoke so head over there for some wild shit. @netflix @whitneysrobot 🤖

20,715 Likes | 18 days ago | 661

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Don’t be jealous you didn’t think of it! My new special CAN I TOUCH IT? is now streaming on @netflix ! #canitouchit @netflixisajoke @whitneysrobot for everyone asking @robzangardi is the brain behind my denim tuxedo.

13,306 Likes | 19 days ago | 469

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Tonight at midnight my new stand up special streams on @netflixisajoke. PC police, start your engines. #canitouchit

5,350 Likes | 19 days ago | 112

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Tonight you’ll get to find out what in the lords name all this rigmarole is all about! CAN I TOUCH IT? Streams at midnight on @netflixisajoke 🤖

18,522 Likes | 20 days ago | 798

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This Tuesday at midnight on @netflixisajoke I’ll explain what the hell is going on here. #canitouchit

6,110 Likes | 20 days ago | 177

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
TWO more days till CAN I TOUCH IT? Streams on @netflixisajoke. Get ready to feel some weird things.

15,419 Likes | 21 days ago | 317

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I think a dog just beat me at basketball.

10,411 Likes | 21 days ago | 494

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
3 more days until my new special comes out on @netflixisajoke July 30. Get ready to laugh and see some very weird shit. #canitouchit

31,504 Likes | 22 days ago | 1,236

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Total blast to speak at the @girlboss rally. Here are some hot tips I wish someone had told me when I was a young buck trying to make something of myself. Any good advice I’m missing? #girlboss #girlbossrally

10,891 Likes | 23 days ago | 105

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
It’s not often you get to pose on a red carpet next to a painting of your own dog. Thank you @refinery29 and @vca for collaborating to direct short films about animal adoption. #petfriendly

3,741 Likes | 23 days ago | 91

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This is me without make up on letting you know there’s only 6 more days until my new stand up special is on @netflixisajoke. #canitouchit

71,359 Likes | 24 days ago | 2,670

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Hairy girl summer in full effect. #canitouchit

9,132 Likes | 25 days ago | 299

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
But who is going to save me? 🐝

11,887 Likes | 25 days ago | 353

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
ONE WEEK till my new special CAN I TOUCH IT? is out on @Netflix. Share this weird ass poster and use hashtag #canitouchit, and I'll choose one of you lovely humans and record your outgoing voice mail message…

25,624 Likes | 27 days ago | 911

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Ooh, do I get married at @wayfarers_chapel?! Help! I need ideas. Tag venues that can accommodate a lot of comedians and about 50 dogs ☺️

18,222 Likes | 27 days ago | 239

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Just found this picture so I’ll guess I’ll spend the rest of the day staring into space. We miss you Brody. #enjoyit

12,361 Likes | 28 days ago | 343

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
My new special on Netflix drops July 30 but here’s a clip from my last HBO special where I talk about my uterus. Tag your girls stressed about their biological ⏰

20,122 Likes | 29 days ago | 252

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Summer is my bitch. #dogsofinstagram

15,803 Likes | 29 days ago | 1,003

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Someone recently told me “you post too many photos with animals on IG.” This video is dedicated to that person. Can you name all the animals in this video?

14,932 Likes | 30 days ago | 566

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
July 30th Any guesses on why I named the special CAN I TOUCH IT? @netflixisajoke @netflix #canitouchit

4,417 Likes | 31 days ago | 74

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
In this pic all I’m thinking is “do I pee on a rattle snake bite?”

13,922 Likes | 32 days ago | 648

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Okay, I’m thinking this whole technology thing has gone waaaay too far. #agechallenge

12,784 Likes | 32 days ago | 123

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Everyone I know is on vacation right now and I’m inside working like a dog, but I’m desperate to fit in so here’s me on vacation last year trying to not get sand in my uterus

8,486 Likes | 33 days ago | 315

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
People keep sending me a video of a lady running like a horse and it’s starting to feel like a challenge, so, running horse lady, CHECK MATE BITCH

18,246 Likes | 33 days ago | 506

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
It’s Monday and you know what that means: put on a bra and a denim jumpsuit and get your shit together. Lmk your tips on how to get through a Monday because I am struggling and I don’t take adderall.

16,647 Likes | 34 days ago | 293

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
To answer your question yes I do have a sports bra with my foster Violet on it.

24,886 Likes | 35 days ago | 371

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
People always ask me if there is a humane way to ride an elephant. Yes there is and I’m happy to demonstrate it for you. Thank you for the education @pawsark2000 ❤️ #athlete

17,936 Likes | 35 days ago | 246

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
It’s summer and you know what that means: a bunch of outtake pix like this in our phones because where we tried so hard to be cute for the gram but then had a shame spiral for being fake as hell. Where are you taking staged pix today everyone?

23,791 Likes | 36 days ago | 485

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Spending my weekend goofing off with this handsome donkey. What are your plans for the weekend honey pies?

8,150 Likes | 37 days ago | 507

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
#nosquirting

16,265 Likes | 38 days ago | 232

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
No I was not cast in The Lion King but that won’t stop me from being in The Lion King 🦁

7,373 Likes | 38 days ago | 357

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
FEMALE COMICS DON’T GET ALONG, THEY SAY, so behold my nemesis @jessimaepeluso. I love her even though she’s my mortal enemy. Who are your favorite female comics?

19,856 Likes | 39 days ago | 754

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
But AM I WRONG

22,635 Likes | 39 days ago | 1,071

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
#fashion

18,845 Likes | 40 days ago | 409

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
My dog just schooled me in downward dog. Does your dog mock and humiliate you as much as mine does?

33,413 Likes | 40 days ago | 1,279

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Violets reaction after not seeing me for two weeks (I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING.) She has more impulse control training with @steffenbaldwin and then we will figure out the next best steps for the wrinkle dragon spaz face.

13,318 Likes | 41 days ago | 822

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Should I be rescuing bees or do we let Darwinism handle the drowning ones? Please advise.

18,759 Likes | 41 days ago | 578

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Now we are expected to SQUIRT? #nosquirting

26,169 Likes | 42 days ago | 1,165

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
My lil dumbass got stung by a bee most likely and her face blew up 3 times the size it normally is. Vet gave her steroids and antihistamine shot ... anyone else go through this? How long did it take for the swelling to go down?

59,107 Likes | 42 days ago | 1,359

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
How long do we think it will take for insta to take this pic down even though this doesn’t at all resemble the placement of my actual nipple? Now what @chelcielynnn??

10,741 Likes | 43 days ago | 226

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
This is the weekend I vow to do all the things I have not had time to do this year. Like I finally got to visit @skydogsanctuary and meet this little dork Skye, whose mom was rescued from slaughter, and learn more about their incredible rescue work. What are your plans this weekend?

12,955 Likes | 43 days ago | 272

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
For years I’ve wanted to meet and learn from the heroes at @pawsark2000. It was surreal and overwhelming to watch how they care for the elephants and humanely clicker train them so they can receive vet care. It sucks to hear, but I learned more about the aftermath of circuses, cub petting, and riding elephants. If you want to help, follow them, donate if you can and gently educate your pals. Don’t support sanctuaries who have cubs - that means there is breeding. Tag your friends who love animals 🐘

8,615 Likes | 46 days ago | 487

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I have to be squirting now? What? Is porn ruining our brains? Someone please explain this to me thanks.

30,271 Likes | 47 days ago | 723

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
I personally feel like I won the #bottlecapchallenge.

24,958 Likes | 48 days ago | 709

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Thank you @girlboss for allowing me to berate young women about saving their money. What can YOU stop buying so you’ll have more money (aka freedom) when you need it? Overpriced lip balm? Bottled water? Fake “Micro pigs?”

5,780 Likes | 49 days ago | 59

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
A belated bravo to @janetmock on your Netflix deal and generally reigning supreme. Please just make a million shows. 🙌🏼

11,305 Likes | 50 days ago | 433

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
But AM I WRONG #comedy #standup

39,778 Likes | 51 days ago | 835

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Banger alert. Anyone else have some good advice to get people through a tricky day?

12,185 Likes | 51 days ago | 410

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Drain-iac

13,759 Likes | 52 days ago | 525

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Where do they get this shit from? #standup #comedy

14,438 Likes | 53 days ago | 323

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Weed being legal in California may not be the greatest thing In the world for my insta pix?

6,379 Likes | 54 days ago | 49

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Happy birthday to the sparkliest, funniest, giant hearted-est, talented-est, most genuine queen of unicorns the world ever did see. I love you and can’t wait to cry my head off when you’re winning your 20th EGOT. Send your love to @beaniefeldstein.

32,295 Likes | 54 days ago | 1,336

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Has porn made us all go completely insane? Tag your single girlfriends who need a heads up on what’s going on out there. #comedy #standup

7,019 Likes | 55 days ago | 259

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What would this TV show be called? ❤️ @lparrilla @fortunefeimster

22,124 Likes | 56 days ago | 396

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What it’s like to hang out with me in a nutshell

22,946 Likes | 57 days ago | 341

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
Finally figured out Violets breed: unmade bed. Can you even spot her?

12,740 Likes | 57 days ago | 213

Whitney Cummings post on Instagram
What would you look for in a sperm donor? More ranting in this HBO special available on Hulu and HBOGo

23,652 Likes | 58 days ago |