Chelsea Handler Snapchat: chelseahandler #1 New York Times Best Seller | LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME 🍊 iHeart Podcast every Thursday Stand-Up Comedy Tour | Tickets👇🏼 | linktr.ee/chelseahandler|
Chelsea Handler Posts
48,471 Likes | 1571 days ago | 1,385
Hello Privilege. It’s me, Chelsea - coming to @Netflix September 13th.
19,093 Likes | 1571 days ago | 179
This is Bert’s reaction when I say the word, “journey.” #momlife
6,773 Likes | 1572 days ago | 162
Monday. You’ve got this like I’ve got my dry cleaning.
81,979 Likes | 1572 days ago | 1,712
After I take an edible and decide to go swimming.
29,441 Likes | 1574 days ago | 1,542
3,410 Likes | 1575 days ago | 367
I’m coming on tour to a city near you. Tickets on sale now! 🍊 Link in bio #LifeWillBeTheDeathOfMe
19,313 Likes | 1575 days ago | 274
I messed up and thought someone said the mushrooms were in the pool.
11,194 Likes | 1576 days ago | 153
I sit down with “Andy Barracuda” @andypuddicombe founder of meditation app @headspace for a conversation about his life, meditation, and monkhood 🍊 Click the link in bio to listen #lifewillbethedeathofme
5,259 Likes | 1577 days ago | 414
I’m very excited to be adding new dates for my 'Life Will Be the Death of Me' Stand-Up Tour in the US and CANADA 🍊PRESALE Tickets available using code STANDUP Thursday, August 15th @ 10am #lifewillbethedeathofme sorry- there was a mistake in earlier post so Kansas City is in MISSOURI. Bam!
2,091 Likes | 1577 days ago | 227
I’m very excited to be adding new dates for my 'Life Will Be the Death of Me' Stand-Up Tour in the US and CANADA 🍊PRESALE Tickets available using code STANDUP Thursday, August 15th @ 10am #lifewillbethedeathofme
15,538 Likes | 1578 days ago | 140
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”—Bert Handler #dphuehouse
43,344 Likes | 1580 days ago | 2,019
19,043 Likes | 1581 days ago | 661
38,084 Likes | 1582 days ago | 2,545
111,545 Likes | 1583 days ago | 3,621
2,295 Likes | 1583 days ago | 37
This week I sit down with Writer, Editor, and Imposter Syndrome Survivor, Courtenay Hameister (@wisenheimer_pdx) for a conversation on family, sex and my babysitting career.
9,513 Likes | 1584 days ago | 170
Doing my kitchen chores with my new friends who I met at a retreat for victims of gun violence. If you’re like me and want to do more, this is an organization that you can donate your time or your money to. http://SurvivorsEmpowered.org http://survivorsempowered.org/donate And thank you to @mindfulskatergirl for inviting me. There’s more info in my stories. You can also donate to cover the transportation costs of Victims and Survivors of Mass Shooting/Gun Violence representing ten communities for a Trauma-Informed Mindfulness Healing Retreat, which is in my stories.
138,331 Likes | 1584 days ago | 3,308
38,325 Likes | 1587 days ago | 850
#Repost @elizabethbanks ・・・ America can ban assault weapons. We don’t have to live this way. Honor the victims of these preventable murders by getting involved (@everytown @momsdemand ) and finding leaders - whatever your party - that support #gunsense and VOTE
27,948 Likes | 1588 days ago | 283
I met someone. @romcaz #thewiseowl
54,041 Likes | 1589 days ago | 841
#Repost @kenziebrookshire ・・・ This is the last paragraph of the last chapter and it really got me. This book is magic. 🖤 #lifewillbethedeathofme🍊
56,673 Likes | 1590 days ago | 1,235
This is the look of someone who accidentally dropped her edibles in the sea, and has 3 hours left on a boat with 7 children.
13,726 Likes | 1590 days ago | 183
New Podcast Episode - My bestie @marycmccormack reviews my dating history. 🍊 link in bio to subscribe and listen. #lifewillbethedeathofme
93,136 Likes | 1591 days ago | 1,081
My sisters had babies so that I never had to. #thevineyard
23,972 Likes | 1593 days ago | 815
8,590 Likes | 1594 days ago | 92
Thank you to New Orleans for a great night in your beautiful city. I ate like a queen. Adding more stand up dates soon! #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
13,089 Likes | 1595 days ago | 217
Thank you, Nashville! I ducking love your city and I Love the Ryman. See you tonight, NEW ORLEANS! - On stage photograph by 📸 Steve Lowry/Ryman Archives
22,025 Likes | 1596 days ago | 403
Brandon and i have arrived on Nashville. #nashville. See everyone tonight at the #rymanauditorium #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
10,236 Likes | 1597 days ago | 154
This week's episode is a special on the U.S. Border and how each of us can help. I sat down to record this episode this week with advocates Shannon Camacho, and Archana Sahgal, to discuss what is actually happening at the U.S. Border and how to help. Episode 10 of #lifewillbethedeathofme🍊 Link to listen and subscribe in bio.
22,453 Likes | 1597 days ago | 445
Brandon, once again, is mind fucking me in order to gain control over my mind.
23,826 Likes | 1598 days ago | 212
Happy birthday to my favorite road companion. Today is your 36th bday and we have been together for many years and have traveled from Indianapolis, Cleveland, Clearwater, Hawaii, to New Zealand, New Delhi, and Moscow. I left the pictures off from Moscow, because you almost passed away there. You have been by my side unflinchingly since you started interning on chelsea lately, and even though most of the things we do are related to me, it is me who is now walking by your side, because you have lead the way for me for so many years. You are a golden girl. True to her word. The world is lucky to have you, and everyone you choose to have in your life (short list) is lucky to have been chosen by you. Happy birthday, bitch.
6,780 Likes | 1599 days ago | 69
Greetings from Uganda! Thank you @twejaka for sending. This made my day. @nyakaschool
18,192 Likes | 1599 days ago | 343
I've started a new group on Facebook stemming from my book "Life Will Be the Death of Me". Sisters supporting sisters, bro’s welcome too. My own therapy and your messages taught me I am not alone in this and neither are you. I encourage anyone seeking support from others to join. I also hope each person that joins works to put out their hand for someone else. Let's do this together. 🍊#THEORANGEROOM #LIFEWILLBETHEDEATHOFME Request to join 👇(Link in Bio) http://bit.ly/THEORANGEROOM
17,414 Likes | 1600 days ago | 536
38,540 Likes | 1602 days ago | 394
This is what my dating game looks like. It’s the same as it’s been since the 2nd grade. #lifewillbethedeathofme
16,088 Likes | 1603 days ago | 314
This is my lion king. And the King of Bel Air. #lionking
27,404 Likes | 1603 days ago | 314
Rides up the coast with #bert.
12,370 Likes | 1604 days ago | 133
Episode 9 of my podcast is with Natasha Lyonne. We talk all about children and not wanting them, white privilege, and Cannabis. Link in Bio to listen. 🍊#lifewillbethedeathofme @nlyonne
23,600 Likes | 1604 days ago | 257
When mama kidnaps my dogs and they prefer it. #bertandbernice
14,172 Likes | 1605 days ago | 366
This is what I will be doing this Fall – I’m coming back to AUSTRALIA and NEW ZEALAND for Life Will be the Death of Me. Swipe right for all international shows this Fall. Adding new markets and dates soon. Link in bio for tickets. #brisbane #sydney #melbourne #auckland
36,288 Likes | 1606 days ago | 434
33,215 Likes | 1607 days ago | 1,088
About to start my period.
37,438 Likes | 1607 days ago | 1,570
10,774 Likes | 1608 days ago | 130
MINNEAPOLIS, thank you for last night! Such a fun show with great people in an awesome city. I love you guys. And you too, St. Louis 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
12,510 Likes | 1609 days ago | 168
Thank you, St. Louis. I love you. See you tonight, Minneapolis. Also, this last photo is my driver and I in St. Louis, best driver here, ask for Al! @jed_limousine #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 📸 @jasongonulsen
46,182 Likes | 1609 days ago | 1,257
#repost @motherjonesmag ・・・ Drawing on their experiences visiting a border facility in Clint, Texas last week, four Democratic congresswomen delivered powerful testimony at a hearing about the mistreatment of migrants at the United States’ southern border.⠀ ⠀ The four women—Reps. @ocasio2018 (D-N.Y.), @repayannapressley (D-Mass.), Veronica Escobar (D-Texas), and @rashidatlaib (D-Mich.)—argued for an end to the detainment of migrants at Friday’s House Oversight and Reform Committee hearing.⠀ ⠀ “This is a manufactured crisis because there is no need for us to do this,” Ocasio-Cortez said during her testimony. “There’s no need for us to overcrowd and to detain and to under-resource. There is no need for us to arrest innocent people and treat them no differently than criminals when they are pursuing their basic human rights.”⠀ ⠀ Pressley spoke passionately about the women she saw sitting on the concrete floor at the Clint border facility.⠀ ⠀ “After everything these women have endured—fleeing violence, deep poverty, sexual violence, domestic abuse—they arrive at the crest of this nation only to be torn apart from their babies and thrown in cages for seeking asylum, a legal right, a human right,” she said. “And in spite of all of that, they believe so fiercely in the promise of this nation.”
68,641 Likes | 1610 days ago | 7,521
This is called a Whoopsie doodle! #repost @crazybitchprobs_ #frenchbulldogs
19,983 Likes | 1610 days ago | 223
I think it’s weird to post professional photos of your dogs, so here. #bernice @jackjunk @dphue you can get your hair colored while they photograph your dog.
10,552 Likes | 1611 days ago | 112
Episode 8 of my podcast is out. Discussing fitness with the three who think they know the most in the game, @benbrunotraining, Bernice, and Brandon. Listen and Subscribe, Link in bio. #LIFEWILLBETHEDEATHOFME
24,906 Likes | 1612 days ago | 956
4,554 Likes | 1612 days ago | 197
New International market added, I’m bringing my stand-up tour to AUCKLAND on 9 October 🍊 Presale Tickets available 11 July at 12pm NZST / 10 July, 5pm PDT. Link in bio for tickets. #lifewillbethedeathofme
16,431 Likes | 1613 days ago | 563
Coming back from vacation like, duck. #repost @jerryoftheday
17,478 Likes | 1614 days ago | 399
27,419 Likes | 1615 days ago | 214
I told Bert and Bernice to get the decks resanded before I came home. #bertandbernice
34,870 Likes | 1616 days ago | 328
What Jersey girls wear for hangovers after the 4th of July. #childhoodmemories
10,140 Likes | 1617 days ago | 107
This week's episode is out and back with round 2 of Sean Hayes and me in Chicago from my "Life Will Be the Death of Me" tour. Link in bio to listen. 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme @seanhayes 📸 @kirstinewalton
43,626 Likes | 1617 days ago | 284
Because I happen to believe Bert is from Spain and Bernice is from Romania, I've decided to celebrate this day from my favorite city, London. Happy 4th of July Everyone. #fourthofjuly
14,057 Likes | 1618 days ago | 119
CHEL-SKI! #london #4thofjuly
16,023 Likes | 1618 days ago | 231
#Repost @ittybittyshorts ・・・ 🇺🇸 Declaration of Independence 🇺🇸 “all are created equal, that they are endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness ... But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”
23,065 Likes | 1618 days ago | 558
44,078 Likes | 1619 days ago | 687
Before I left for vacation, I told Bert he needed to get a job. 👔 #bert
127,686 Likes | 1620 days ago | 1,802
21,105 Likes | 1620 days ago | 643
16,774 Likes | 1621 days ago | 251
It’s vacation time for me in London, and I’m ready for some action. I’ll be in the park, waiting. #singledom #wimbledon
44,472 Likes | 1622 days ago | 388
The people standing in front of this house had been looking for any sign from two loved ones they have recently lost, and then went to clean out their dad’s things, and looked up and saw a double rainbow. Rainbows are everywhere when you heart is broken, and even more places when your heart is open. The rainbow is a perfect symbol for PRIDE.Rainbows aren’t unicorns. They’re real and they’re for all of us. HAPPY PRIDE!!🌈🌈 #doublerainbow
8,493 Likes | 1622 days ago | 126
Thank you WESTBURY for a great night and wrap to the first weekend of stand-up on my tour. And thank you to everyone who has continued to support @truecolorsunited on this tour by purchasing my “I Decide” T-shirts and bracelets. I’m not stopping at $52,000, lets get to $100,000! HAPPY Pride Everyone! #loveislove #pride - #lifewillbethedeathofme
7,920 Likes | 1623 days ago | 84
I want to thank everyone not only for joining me on this incredible tour but supporting all of the great "I Decide" Merchandise along the way. Thanks to YOU, I was able to donate $51,000 to the organization True Colors United @truecolorsunited. Continue buying t-shirts and #idecide bracelets for the remainder of my stand-up tour to help continue to support this organization that helps youth homelessness in the LGBTQIA community. #LIFEWILLBETHEDEATHOFME 📸 @linaresphotography @thewellmonttheater #newjerseypride I DECIDE t-shirts and bracelets are available at every show and on my website. Chelseahandler.com Let’s get to 100k! HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!🌈
21,643 Likes | 1623 days ago | 1,115
#Repost @travel.afrika ・・・ These buddies will help you on your six pack journey. Please take notes @benbrunotraining
14,462 Likes | 1624 days ago | 259
Thank you, Atlanta for a great night kicking off my stand-up comedy tour. Proceeds from last nights show will be going to Feminist Women’s Health Center @feministcenter. These are two of my favorite fans that keep showing up wherever I perform! @shells2711 @west.sean.michael #lifewillbethedeathofme
21,288 Likes | 1625 days ago | 225
New Podcast Episode! This week and next week’s episode of my podcast will be from my two shows in Chicago with SEAN HAYES! Link in bio to listen. #Lifewillbethedeathofme
26,630 Likes | 1625 days ago | 985
56,249 Likes | 1626 days ago | 1,085
Since I’m heading back to Jersey for my stand-up show this weekend, Brandon decided to get me a crimper to get back to my roots.
29,160 Likes | 1627 days ago | 307
This is not an endorsement. I drink cannabis. #bert
18,794 Likes | 1628 days ago | 337
@thetalkcbs hair by @christinesymondshair @harrymakesitup ill be on today.
23,517 Likes | 1628 days ago | 321
Me coming out of my room this am to find these two fuckers waiting for me!!! Yes! It has happened! They understand that I live in my house, too! #bertandbernice
22,921 Likes | 1629 days ago | 201
Big Daddy waiting for Mabel to bring him snacks in bed.
9,293 Likes | 1630 days ago | 157
Thank you, Seattle. I love this city and I love all of you for coming out and seeing my show. I’ll be back soon! #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 @annabellegurwitch1 📸 @mattlambphoto
14,764 Likes | 1630 days ago | 499
All independent bookstores who have copies of my books in upcoming tour cities, please let us know so I can swing by and sign them. Seattle, Atlanta, Montclair, Westbury, L.I., St. Louis, Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans. 💁🏼♀️🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
9,191 Likes | 1631 days ago | 145
Thank you, Portland, for an awesome show last night and thank you to everyone for this whole tour. It has brought me back to stand-up, something I never thought I wanted to do again, and I’m loving it. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 - 📸 @mattlambphoto
133,027 Likes | 1631 days ago | 2,974
6,381 Likes | 1632 days ago | 164
Episode 5 of my podcast is here! With my psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, listen to him explain my personality type (and yours). It's the Enneagram Episode. 🍊 Link in bio to listen. #lifewillbethedeathofme
4,949 Likes | 1632 days ago | 188
Thank you to everyone who has listened! 🍊🍊🍊 Life Will Be The Death of Me is included in Apples's picks for the Best Audiobooks of the Year! @applebooks #AppleBooks #BestAudiobooks @prhaudio
20,101 Likes | 1633 days ago | 960
4,548 Likes | 1633 days ago | 457
More dates being announced soon! Stand-Up shows added to the US and Australia cities as part of my “Life Will Be the Death of Me” Tour. Get your tickets now, link in bio! 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
121,920 Likes | 1633 days ago | 2,686
I want everyone to know this is what I'm dealing with every day. I've broken 8 straighteners this year alone.
25,371 Likes | 1634 days ago | 1,070
21,017 Likes | 1634 days ago | 310
For anyone who’s looking for a rainbow today. #yosemite
85,257 Likes | 1635 days ago | 1,653
I’ve avoided our national parks my whole life because of the way my brother died, and this year, I decided that was over. What a great reminder of how absolutely beautiful our world is, and how imperative it is to protect these majestic places. I’m glad these were the last kinds of reminders my brother got to see. It sure makes you believe in all sorts of magic.
5,600 Likes | 1635 days ago | 373
I am coming to AUSTRALIA! Adding shows in BRISBANE, SYDNEY and MELBOURNE in October. Come see me on the other side of the world for my stand-up show. #lifewillbethedeathofme | 🍊 PRESALE Tickets now available using code SITDOWN! Get your presale tickets now through Wed 19 Jun, 10am AEST (Tue 18 Jun, 5pm PST). Link in bio for Tickets.
35,421 Likes | 1636 days ago | 208
This is my father, Seymour. He was strong and full of life. He loved his children, and we loved him. Except for that time he tried to trick his Jamaican nurse into marrying him. Happy Father’s Day to everyone. 🍓 My dad loved strawberries. #happyfathersday