Chelsea Handler Snapchat: chelseahandler #1 New York Times Best Seller | LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME 🍊 iHeart Podcast every Thursday Stand-Up Comedy Tour | Tickets👇🏼 | linktr.ee/chelseahandler|
Chelsea Handler Posts
14,704 Likes | about 3 hours ago | 163
Rides up the coast with #bert.
8,920 Likes | about 11 hours ago | 100
Episode 9 of my podcast is with Natasha Lyonne. We talk all about children and not wanting them, white privilege, and Cannabis. Link in Bio to listen. 🍊#lifewillbethedeathofme @nlyonne
22,498 Likes | 1 day ago | 250
When mama kidnaps my dogs and they prefer it. #bertandbernice
13,908 Likes | 2 days ago | 357
This is what I will be doing this Fall – I’m coming back to AUSTRALIA and NEW ZEALAND for Life Will be the Death of Me. Swipe right for all international shows this Fall. Adding new markets and dates soon. Link in bio for tickets. #brisbane #sydney #melbourne #auckland
35,956 Likes | 2 days ago | 423
33,075 Likes | 3 days ago | 1,079
About to start my period.
37,048 Likes | 4 days ago | 1,530
10,746 Likes | 4 days ago | 128
MINNEAPOLIS, thank you for last night! Such a fun show with great people in an awesome city. I love you guys. And you too, St. Louis 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
12,488 Likes | 5 days ago | 168
Thank you, St. Louis. I love you. See you tonight, Minneapolis. Also, this last photo is my driver and I in St. Louis, best driver here, ask for Al! @jed_limousine #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 📸 @jasongonulsen
46,033 Likes | 6 days ago | 1,226
#repost @motherjonesmag ・・・ Drawing on their experiences visiting a border facility in Clint, Texas last week, four Democratic congresswomen delivered powerful testimony at a hearing about the mistreatment of migrants at the United States’ southern border.⠀ ⠀ The four women—Reps. @ocasio2018 (D-N.Y.), @repayannapressley (D-Mass.), Veronica Escobar (D-Texas), and @rashidatlaib (D-Mich.)—argued for an end to the detainment of migrants at Friday’s House Oversight and Reform Committee hearing.⠀ ⠀ “This is a manufactured crisis because there is no need for us to do this,” Ocasio-Cortez said during her testimony. “There’s no need for us to overcrowd and to detain and to under-resource. There is no need for us to arrest innocent people and treat them no differently than criminals when they are pursuing their basic human rights.”⠀ ⠀ Pressley spoke passionately about the women she saw sitting on the concrete floor at the Clint border facility.⠀ ⠀ “After everything these women have endured—fleeing violence, deep poverty, sexual violence, domestic abuse—they arrive at the crest of this nation only to be torn apart from their babies and thrown in cages for seeking asylum, a legal right, a human right,” she said. “And in spite of all of that, they believe so fiercely in the promise of this nation.”
68,601 Likes | 6 days ago | 7,516
This is called a Whoopsie doodle! #repost @crazybitchprobs_ #frenchbulldogs
19,983 Likes | 7 days ago | 223
I think it’s weird to post professional photos of your dogs, so here. #bernice @jackjunk @dphue you can get your hair colored while they photograph your dog.
10,552 Likes | 7 days ago | 112
Episode 8 of my podcast is out. Discussing fitness with the three who think they know the most in the game, @benbrunotraining, Bernice, and Brandon. Listen and Subscribe, Link in bio. #LIFEWILLBETHEDEATHOFME
24,906 Likes | 8 days ago | 956
4,554 Likes | 9 days ago | 197
New International market added, I’m bringing my stand-up tour to AUCKLAND on 9 October 🍊 Presale Tickets available 11 July at 12pm NZST / 10 July, 5pm PDT. Link in bio for tickets. #lifewillbethedeathofme
16,431 Likes | 9 days ago | 563
Coming back from vacation like, duck. #repost @jerryoftheday
17,478 Likes | 10 days ago | 399
27,419 Likes | 11 days ago | 214
I told Bert and Bernice to get the decks resanded before I came home. #bertandbernice
34,870 Likes | 12 days ago | 328
What Jersey girls wear for hangovers after the 4th of July. #childhoodmemories
10,140 Likes | 13 days ago | 107
This week's episode is out and back with round 2 of Sean Hayes and me in Chicago from my "Life Will Be the Death of Me" tour. Link in bio to listen. 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme @seanhayes 📸 @kirstinewalton
43,626 Likes | 14 days ago | 284
Because I happen to believe Bert is from Spain and Bernice is from Romania, I've decided to celebrate this day from my favorite city, London. Happy 4th of July Everyone. #fourthofjuly
14,057 Likes | 14 days ago | 119
CHEL-SKI! #london #4thofjuly
16,023 Likes | 14 days ago | 231
#Repost @ittybittyshorts ・・・ 🇺🇸 Declaration of Independence 🇺🇸 “all are created equal, that they are endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness ... But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”
23,065 Likes | 15 days ago | 558
44,078 Likes | 16 days ago | 687
Before I left for vacation, I told Bert he needed to get a job. 👔 #bert
127,686 Likes | 16 days ago | 1,802
21,105 Likes | 17 days ago | 643
16,774 Likes | 17 days ago | 251
It’s vacation time for me in London, and I’m ready for some action. I’ll be in the park, waiting. #singledom #wimbledon
44,472 Likes | 18 days ago | 388
The people standing in front of this house had been looking for any sign from two loved ones they have recently lost, and then went to clean out their dad’s things, and looked up and saw a double rainbow. Rainbows are everywhere when you heart is broken, and even more places when your heart is open. The rainbow is a perfect symbol for PRIDE.Rainbows aren’t unicorns. They’re real and they’re for all of us. HAPPY PRIDE!!🌈🌈 #doublerainbow
8,493 Likes | 18 days ago | 126
Thank you WESTBURY for a great night and wrap to the first weekend of stand-up on my tour. And thank you to everyone who has continued to support @truecolorsunited on this tour by purchasing my “I Decide” T-shirts and bracelets. I’m not stopping at $52,000, lets get to $100,000! HAPPY Pride Everyone! #loveislove #pride - #lifewillbethedeathofme
7,920 Likes | 19 days ago | 84
I want to thank everyone not only for joining me on this incredible tour but supporting all of the great "I Decide" Merchandise along the way. Thanks to YOU, I was able to donate $51,000 to the organization True Colors United @truecolorsunited. Continue buying t-shirts and #idecide bracelets for the remainder of my stand-up tour to help continue to support this organization that helps youth homelessness in the LGBTQIA community. #LIFEWILLBETHEDEATHOFME 📸 @linaresphotography @thewellmonttheater #newjerseypride I DECIDE t-shirts and bracelets are available at every show and on my website. Chelseahandler.com Let’s get to 100k! HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!🌈
21,643 Likes | 20 days ago | 1,115
#Repost @travel.afrika ・・・ These buddies will help you on your six pack journey. Please take notes @benbrunotraining
14,462 Likes | 20 days ago | 259
Thank you, Atlanta for a great night kicking off my stand-up comedy tour. Proceeds from last nights show will be going to Feminist Women’s Health Center @feministcenter. These are two of my favorite fans that keep showing up wherever I perform! @shells2711 @west.sean.michael #lifewillbethedeathofme
21,288 Likes | 21 days ago | 225
New Podcast Episode! This week and next week’s episode of my podcast will be from my two shows in Chicago with SEAN HAYES! Link in bio to listen. #Lifewillbethedeathofme
26,630 Likes | 22 days ago | 985
56,249 Likes | 23 days ago | 1,085
Since I’m heading back to Jersey for my stand-up show this weekend, Brandon decided to get me a crimper to get back to my roots.
29,160 Likes | 24 days ago | 307
This is not an endorsement. I drink cannabis. #bert
18,794 Likes | 24 days ago | 337
@thetalkcbs hair by @christinesymondshair @harrymakesitup ill be on today.
23,517 Likes | 24 days ago | 321
Me coming out of my room this am to find these two fuckers waiting for me!!! Yes! It has happened! They understand that I live in my house, too! #bertandbernice
22,921 Likes | 25 days ago | 201
Big Daddy waiting for Mabel to bring him snacks in bed.
9,293 Likes | 26 days ago | 157
Thank you, Seattle. I love this city and I love all of you for coming out and seeing my show. I’ll be back soon! #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 @annabellegurwitch1 📸 @mattlambphoto
14,764 Likes | 27 days ago | 499
All independent bookstores who have copies of my books in upcoming tour cities, please let us know so I can swing by and sign them. Seattle, Atlanta, Montclair, Westbury, L.I., St. Louis, Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans. 💁🏼♀️🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
9,191 Likes | 27 days ago | 145
Thank you, Portland, for an awesome show last night and thank you to everyone for this whole tour. It has brought me back to stand-up, something I never thought I wanted to do again, and I’m loving it. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 - 📸 @mattlambphoto
133,027 Likes | 28 days ago | 2,974
6,381 Likes | 28 days ago | 164
Episode 5 of my podcast is here! With my psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, listen to him explain my personality type (and yours). It's the Enneagram Episode. 🍊 Link in bio to listen. #lifewillbethedeathofme
4,949 Likes | 29 days ago | 188
Thank you to everyone who has listened! 🍊🍊🍊 Life Will Be The Death of Me is included in Apples's picks for the Best Audiobooks of the Year! @applebooks #AppleBooks #BestAudiobooks @prhaudio
20,101 Likes | 29 days ago | 960
4,548 Likes | 29 days ago | 457
More dates being announced soon! Stand-Up shows added to the US and Australia cities as part of my “Life Will Be the Death of Me” Tour. Get your tickets now, link in bio! 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
121,920 Likes | 30 days ago | 2,686
I want everyone to know this is what I'm dealing with every day. I've broken 8 straighteners this year alone.
25,371 Likes | 30 days ago | 1,070
21,017 Likes | 31 days ago | 310
For anyone who’s looking for a rainbow today. #yosemite
85,257 Likes | 31 days ago | 1,653
I’ve avoided our national parks my whole life because of the way my brother died, and this year, I decided that was over. What a great reminder of how absolutely beautiful our world is, and how imperative it is to protect these majestic places. I’m glad these were the last kinds of reminders my brother got to see. It sure makes you believe in all sorts of magic.
5,600 Likes | 32 days ago | 373
I am coming to AUSTRALIA! Adding shows in BRISBANE, SYDNEY and MELBOURNE in October. Come see me on the other side of the world for my stand-up show. #lifewillbethedeathofme | 🍊 PRESALE Tickets now available using code SITDOWN! Get your presale tickets now through Wed 19 Jun, 10am AEST (Tue 18 Jun, 5pm PST). Link in bio for Tickets.
35,421 Likes | 32 days ago | 208
This is my father, Seymour. He was strong and full of life. He loved his children, and we loved him. Except for that time he tried to trick his Jamaican nurse into marrying him. Happy Father’s Day to everyone. 🍓 My dad loved strawberries. #happyfathersday
40,546 Likes | 33 days ago | 679
49,466 Likes | 34 days ago | 1,868
#Repost @chelsanity ・・・ Donate to a cause that is helping women in the state of Georgia get safe access to healthcare. #abortionAF @abortionfront | DONATE 👉 abortionfunds.org - Thank you to everyone who talked about how to get resources to underfunded orgs that matter FOLLOW EVERYONE these women are leaders on the ground whose voices should be amplified. They *should* have a platform on television to talk about communities most direly impacted #weareabortionaf follow, donate, amplify. Thank you to all involved for last night and the opportunity to do more.
23,013 Likes | 34 days ago | 689
When it comes to the kitchen. I Decide. #lifewillbethedeathofme
22,643 Likes | 35 days ago | 277
#tbt To the first time I shaved Bert so I could see what kind of meat he was packing. #chowchow
23,933 Likes | 35 days ago | 247
Episode 4 of my podcast is out! @conniebritton and I talked all about taking your dog's Xanax during my show in Dallas. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊Link in bio to listen.
26,978 Likes | 36 days ago | 2,771
#Repost @shaunking ・・・ Cops in Miami, Florida prepared to Taser a man that they already had subdued. Cop instead accidentally Tasers himself. I’d sincerely like to see that cop then take commands and orders while he is being electrocuted. Of course it would be impossible. It’s gross that our nation even has the option of electrocution. Over 1,000 people have died from being electrocuted by police.
87,099 Likes | 36 days ago | 3,325
#Repost @benbrunotraining ・・・ When you’ve maxed out the dumbbells... #bernice preparing for my stand-up comedy tour. New cities added.
24,946 Likes | 37 days ago | 258
This is where Bert sits when he has to wait 20 minutes after his lunch before he swims. #thelionking #bert
25,098 Likes | 37 days ago | 240
My baby bert on my bosom. #breastfeeding
22,812 Likes | 38 days ago | 136
Bert has picked up some of his sisters bedroom behavior. #bertandbernice
30,397 Likes | 39 days ago | 557
9,209 Likes | 40 days ago | 103
#Repost @wsl ・・・ The surfers have pledged to #StopTrashingWaves. What's yours? Make the pledge at wslpure.org @wslpure #wslpure
27,330 Likes | 41 days ago | 270
#repost @michelles_scriptures - This is for all the women out there who I admire.
17,067 Likes | 41 days ago | 142
I just came home from my morning to find my daughter expressing herself through dance. #bernice. The 🍊doesn’t fall far from the tree.
114,408 Likes | 42 days ago | 2,087
Many people who haven’t read my book keep asking what the orange signifies. It signifies someone handing you a life raft. Someone taking care of you and thinking of you. When my psychiatrist Dan handed me an orange he had picked from his tree—was when I finally was able to cry. My friend @mindfulskatergirl sent me this pic and it perfectly says what the orange means to me. We should all be putting our arms around each other and handing out oranges to anyone who needs them. A reminder that we are all in this together. I had a problem with the color orange after the election, and I needed to take the orange back. It’s mine again. It’s ours. Its to give to another person when they need it the most. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
2,714 Likes | 42 days ago | 98
Episode 3 of my podcast is live. Meeting my psychiatrist, Dr. Dan Siegel. Link in bio to listen. 🎧 #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
29,021 Likes | 43 days ago | 1,318
Chelsea Handler | I finally cooked something I can eat!
16,569 Likes | 43 days ago | 350
Like a virgin.
43,015 Likes | 44 days ago | 963
Look, guys, I’m a virgin again. Barrettes and everything! Thanks toots @christinesymondshair and boobs @jamiemakeup and @teamcoco 🍊
12,918 Likes | 44 days ago | 309
Episode 3 of my podcast comes out this Thursday where I’ll discuss my therapy with my psychiatrist Dan Siegel. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊🧘🏼♂️
43,461 Likes | 45 days ago | 574
27,412 Likes | 45 days ago | 179
Bernice here making the same face I made when I first discovered my Coslopus. Get it girl. #bertandbernice #chowchow
39,545 Likes | 46 days ago | 289
We went sailing today in the San Francisco Bay and this is a lifestyle I would like to get on board with. A man who can ski and also sail would be awesome. Very little English required. This is my nugget, Seneca who is just bursting into womanhood. #sanfrancisco
21,809 Likes | 46 days ago | 244
Sarah and I reenacting the time we both went to see Harvard’s Krokodiloes sing acapella and ended up on our knees. 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme @sarahkatesilverman 📷: @christuitephoto
6,001 Likes | 47 days ago | 126
Update - @geof_wills, head of Comedy at Live Nation is still a virgin.
25,366 Likes | 48 days ago | 388
Getting ready for Phoenix show @comericatheatre where I get to get interviewed by my bestie @marycmccormack #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
8,676 Likes | 48 days ago | 156
Thank you LOS ANGELES and to my special guest @leahremini 🍊🤸🏼♂️#lifewillbethedeathofme 📸 @timothynorris
26,693 Likes | 49 days ago | 842
Chelsea Handler | More Therapy - Working hours popping off
9,959 Likes | 50 days ago | 847
New cities announced! Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans, St. Louis. Presale has begun for new shows added to my "Life Will Be the Death of Me" tour. Presale code: SITDOWN. Link in bio for tickets. #lifewillbethedeathofme #nashville #stlouis #minneapolis #neworleans
24,322 Likes | 51 days ago | 199
The aftermath of a frisky 3-day weekend. Obviously Bernice is tired from trying to corner Bert into non-consensual activities. #bertandbernice
57,523 Likes | 51 days ago | 678
25,764 Likes | 52 days ago | 259
Fashion has never been my strong suit, but I’ve always loved eating. Here I am raiding a cheese plate after taking an edible.
35,501 Likes | 53 days ago | 2,434
Chelsea Handler | Badminton or hair net? You decide.
115,334 Likes | 54 days ago | 2,868
My friend Sarah was kind enough to forward me this picture of Nick Nolte when she saw me on FaceTime. @sarahkatesilverman
12,348 Likes | 54 days ago | 135
I hope all book clubs that include #LifeWillBetheDeathofMe this summer also include one form of cube(s).
20,293 Likes | 55 days ago | 203
20,499 Likes | 55 days ago | 231
Bernice has been wearing crop tops daily, which means someone is getting ready for summer boom boom. #chowchow
55,490 Likes | 56 days ago | 781
I got this message from someone who shall remain anonymous, but is a reminder that we are in charge of our value. No event or person does this. We decide what other people’s words mean, and if they really mean anything at all. They don’t. Get on your own team and show up at your own party. This is the only chance we get. 🍊🍊🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
4,052 Likes | 56 days ago | 138
The first episode of my podcast is up. This week, my best friend and my assistant joined me to talk about my life changing experience with therapy. To subscribe and listen, link in bio. #myapologytour #lifewillbethedeathofme
5,129 Likes | 57 days ago | 172
Joining me on my Life Will Be the Death of Me Tour - Courtenay Hameister in PORTLAND on 6/20, Annabelle Gurwitch in SEATTLE on 6/21, and Lindsey Vonn in SAN DIEGO on 6/22. #LifeWillBetheDeathofMe 🍊
24,514 Likes | 57 days ago | 353
Bert’s reaction when I told him he was going to be gluten free.