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@mattmcgorry : “Men’s Work: How To Stop The Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart” by Paul Kivel # I loved this book. Men, I would encourage you all to read through these few pages and see what resonates. In the wake of how much men’s violence against women has come into the public eye in the past few months, we owe it to ourselves and the women in our lives to make a serious effort to understand how we got here and what we can do to change the culture. This book is a great resource to begin that process. # As men, we constantly receive messages on “how to be a real man” for our entire lives. Unfortunately, so many of these expectations are actually harmful to us, and result in us being unable to live our best, fullest lives. Four years ago, if you had asked me whether I thought that the pressures of traditional masculinity played a role in my life, I would have estimated that it was minimal. That’s the way socialization creates the status quo. We don’t notice it happening because it begins at birth, continues until the day we die, and is so pervasive that it becomes what is considered normal, to the extent that it’s practically invisible. # Only with tools that allow us to view it through a critical lens, by engaging in deep introspection, and taking action to push against the walls of “The Act Like A Man Box” do we stand a chance of living as fully as we are capable of. We are constantly swayed away from fully naming and exploring our emotions, asking for help, working in equal partnership with women, even considering the possibility that we can turn down sex, and developing deeper, more intimate and authentic relationships with the men in our lives (for fear of “seeming gay”), and the women in our lives (because we are trained not to see them as leaders and to objectify them). # This book provides some incredible insight into how we can fight for justice, live to our greatest potential, and be forces for ending the epidemic of violence against women in our society. # #PaulKiv