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@rowanblanchard : Mental health is a sort of dysphoric topic for me, the thought of “self care” is even more so. I don’t feel equipped anymore like I used to, to speak so publicly about my own mental health. I found that it was something that was unavoidable, mostly unanswerable and subjective -there was nothing cathartic in me sharing my own struggles online, but maybe my efforts to do so laid more subconsciously in just getting comfortable with saying “I’m not okay” out loud (or into some sort of internet void.) I get opportunities that as of lately I have felt unsettled with, to discuss mental health on panels, in clinical rooms, all publicly. I have been asked to give tips to “self care”, which people forget is so deeply rooted in accessibility, which is then rooted in racism, sexism, and overall, patriarchy- these conversations of “self-care” so vehemently lacking the nuance of who has to care for who, who gets time to care for themselves, who has the funds, etc, etc. Anthony Bourdain was a privileged man who (assuming so) had access to so many of the things we offer up as self care tactics under capitalism, yet it seems as though at the end, darkness won, or any other word you associate with suicide. My rambling point being this: I am pretty sure mental health lies mostly in the unanswerable, in tactics we have maybe forgotten about. Maybe it’s about communication in smaller ways? Maybe it’s about confiding? Maybe it’s about talking to someone, and them reassuring you even if it is not believable in that moment, that you are not alone? I think you know at this point if you have suicidal thoughts there are so many hotlines that you can reach out to, some even intersectional for different marginalized communities. But I also want to say this, and maybe this offers up something: it is okay to not be okay, or to be worse, or to have had better days. I think most of us are there with you, but haven’t molded enough courage within ourselves to say that out loud. So wherever you all